Intro. Cast of Characters

The Union Square Sentimental Hustlers are a group of poker players who've been meeting at least once a week in Union Square, Somerville, for the past two years. The core group has been playing poker together for eight years. Sometimes we feel bad about taking the money, but we take the money anyway. "We're sorry we have to hustle you." is the U.S.S.H. creed. The weekly game is low stakes, but more serious than most games I've played in for 100 times the stakes. We play a lot of games. Mostly straight up poker like stud, hold'em, omaha, but occassionaly a "crazy home game" like Follow the Whore 69 split. There's drinking, cussing, throwing of chairs, and generally a good time.

The Hustlers are ranked every week by through an arcane formula based on the end of the night's tournaments. At the end of a season the top ranked hustler gets bought in to a live tourney and shares the profits with the league. I write up every tournament. And more. Such as a recent Hustler trip to Vegas. Expect updates to this space at least every thursday. Maybe more.

For now, let me introduce the cast of characters:

The Big Eight:
Four Hands -- a.ka. Mat, a.k.a. 4H, a.k.a. Willis. The author of this blog. Primary instigator of the Hustlers. Plays as Thath or Thathmew on various poker sites, primarily tournaments. Oldest of the old school players. Has been called the Gus Hansen of the group. Loose and agressive, particularly when drinking. Knows the math, but gets too much amusement from drawing out on others to pay it the attention he should. Has been playing poker for ten years. Nickname comes from a propensity to get knocked out on the fourth hand of tourneys. Won the first season, tied for first in the third. Strongest game: Seven Stud Hi-Lo /Omaha Hi-Lo Weakest: Lowball Favorite: Anaconda Hi-Lo

Slick Willy -- a.k.a. Josh, a.k.a. Slick. The host of the weekly game and the other primary instigator. On of the originals. Plays as ldblly on various poker sites. Moderate and agressive. Likes to make plays. Drinks heavily, effect of liquor ranges from hyper agression to hyper tilt. Nickname just seemed appropriate. Gets distracted by the red sox. More likely to go on tilt than many. Plays more hours per week than an other Hustler except _possibly_ Four Hands. Won the second season. Strongest game: Limit Hold'em Weakest: Seven Stella

Spike -- a.k.a. Brett. The second most agressive player (depending on alcohol level). Streaky. Rides a loose reputation to glory frequently. Moderate and agressive. Dangerous. Drinks far less than Slick or 4H, and the drink rarely helps. The Hustler most likely to be down big halfway through the evening only to comeback and clock a big win by the end. Nickname comes from a propensity to spike needed cards on the tunrn and river. Has an affinity for jacks. Tied for first in the third season and the only Hustler to profit from his buy-in. Strongest game: No-Limit Hold'em/Anaconda Hi-Lo Weakest: Limit Hold'em

The Master -- a.k.a. Tony. Tight and aggressive, but capable of big bluffs. Knows the math better than anyone except perhaps Four Hands, but cares less than anyone as well. Has an instinctive knowledge of tournament play. Not as serious about poker as many, he's new school and plays for fun. Known as The Master for placing 3rd in the first two live multi-table tourneys he played at Foxwoods for a big profit. Always at the top of the rankings, but has not won a season yet. Willing to consume a forty, drinking has a moderately positive effect on play. Has a particularly affinity for 73o, and gets drawn out on frequently, the inverse of Spike. Strongest game: Omaha Hi-Lo/Seven Stud Hi Weakest: none

Three Hour -- a.k.a. Kerry, a.k.a. Six Dollar, a.k.a. 3H. Tight but passive. A master of the slow play -- he's unnoticeable in a hand until he lays down the big check-raise on the river leaving you crying as you call. Plays less than most, and is usually the last to arrive. Recently engaged. New school. Brings drink frequently, no noticeable effect of alcohol on his play. Known as Three hour because he _only_ played three hours once when the rest of the Hustlers played nine. Won the abbreviated fourth season. Strongest game: Omaha Hi-Lo Weakest: none

Lets Gamble -- a.ka. Victor, a.k.a Boatman. Loose and passive. The newest of the consistent players he's only been in the game for a year. You never know when he'll call down your big river bluff with third pair. Tough to read and loves to check-raise. Getting better consistently. Drinks moderately to good effect. Strongest game: Five Draw Weakest: Seven Stud

Cream Sherry -- a.k.a. Nathaniel, a.k.a. Old Man, a.k.a. Hollywood. Tight and passive. Streaky. Played rarely back in the old school days, but is a consistent player now. Has a particularly affinity for J8s. Likes to hollywood, thus the nickname. Drinks moderately, excessive drinking has a negative impact. Once brought a flask of Cream Sherry to the game and has yet to live it down. Frequently calls Omaha Hi Double Flop. Strongest game: Pineapple Weakest: Seven Stud Hi-Lo

The Professional -- a.k.a. Tom. Tight and agressive. By the book and good at it. An old school player who just recently moved back to town. Known as the Professional for his recent brief attempt to support himself playing online. Drinks inconsistently, but to good effect. Seems to always run into Four Hands big hands at the wrong time. Strongest game: Hold'em (Limit or No-Limit) Weakest: Five Draw

Others of note:
Means Nothing -- a.k.a. Wendy. loose and passive. An old school player who loves the game. A call or a raise literally means nothing. Could be curiousity, could be a monster. Hates to get bluffed. Lightweight, any drink just makes things crazy. Former paramour of Four Hands. Lives in NYC so doesn't get to the Union Square game much. Recent won a daily tourney at the Luxor.

Monkeypants -- a.k.a. Ryan. Moderate and moderate. An old school player, it was once said of him "Ryan would play poker all night against two silent robots." Great at reading people, but out of practice, and impatient. Likes to trap. Deadly when in the flow. Currently a resident of San Diego, so doesn't make the Union Square game much.

The Irrational Monkey -- a.k.a. Jordanna. tight and agressive. A new school player. A math whiz who hates math. Gets bored easily. Former paramour of Four Hands. Has won or placed second in all tourneys she's played in the last two season, but hasn't played enough to qualify for rankings in either season. Like everything, drinking has an un-quantifiable effect. Currently a resident of Boulder, so doesn't make the Union Square game much.

Scares Willy -- a.k.a. Aimee, a.k.a. Outdrawn. Moderate and agressive. A new school player. Former paramour (recent) of Spike. A serious gamer who hates to lose. Recent breakup has interfered with play time. Drinking makes her dangerous.

Baby Daddy -- a.ka. David. Moderate and agressive. A new school player. Has come back from a single chip in a tourney. Recent birth and move to the 'burbs mean he doesn't play much.

Big Fun -- a.k.a. Elissa, a.ka. Fabulous. Tight and passive. New school, but has been absent from the games. A recent move to a closer location may bring her back. Former paramour of Four Hands.

Craig. Moderate and agressive. New school, working hard on his game. A pool hustler and former magician. Doesn't drink. Consistent, solid player who needs a nickname. Introduced 69 split.

Jen. Loose and passive. New school, working on her game, but doesn't play consistently. Engaged to Three Hour.

Leah. Moderate. New school. Solid gamer, plays weekend games, but rarely in the main game. Wife of The Master.

Rooster -- a.k.a. Jeff. New school. Remains to be seen if he'll become a consistent hustler. Primarily a hold'em player. Nickname comes from Slick and is of unknown origin.